• Clevelandish Team

Is It Time for Baker to Focus on Admaking?

Well, yesterday was a doozy. The Steelers absolutely kicked the sh*t out of our poor Brownies, 38-7, and probably ruined our entire fall (like covid-19 and the election weren't enough already). In rivalries as important as the Browns-Steelers, quarterbacks need to step up big, and that is exactly what Ben Roethlisberger did. Big Ben, who is old enough to be Baker Mayfield's great-grandfather, threw for 162 yards and a touchdown. Meanwhile, Baker was garbage and had to be yanked out of the game after completing only ten passes (on 18 attempts) and tossing two interceptions (including a pick six to Minkah Fitzpatrick).

Luckily for Browns fans, there is a silver lining: Baker Mayfield's primary career—making TV commercialsis TAKING OFF! Although Baker already has more Ls to the Steelers in his short three years in the League than Ben Roethlisberger has in his sixteen year career against the Browns (Baker is 1-3 against the Steelers while Big Ben is 24-2-1 against the Browns), Baker now has many more advertising deals than Roethlisberger. Notably, Baker now stars in primetime ads with Nissan, Hulu, and Progressive Insurance. In fact, he has starred in so many goddamn commercials that there are even YouTube "compilation" videos of his "best" performances.

We've included below a sampling of his work product. First up, we've got his ongoing Progressive commercials where he pretends First Energy Stadium is his home and hosts book clubs, goes grocery shopping, and tends to the grounds/plumbing (among many other things because he is now in "Season 2" of these commercials). The effectiveness/humorousness of these commercials is 100% dependent on Baker's game-time performance. When he's playing well, Browns fans may sneak in a quick chuckle during commercial breaks. BUT, when he is playing like trash (e.g. yesterday), we all find ourselves wondering why he tries so hard to put a nice lady like Flo out of a job, in the middle of a global recession, when he could be practicing how to throw a football.

Next up, there are his Nissan commercials, where he again performs household tasks, this time in the Heisman house instead of First Energy Stadium. If you've watched a single college football game in the past two years, you've probably seen these ads at least ten times. To be fair, Baker actually earned his spot in these ones because he was incredible at Oklahoma in college and won the Heisman trophy. Then again, when we are all watching the Buckeyes open up their season this coming Saturday, the last thing we'll want to see is Baker "under pressure" flipping hotdogs and taking instructions from a Michigan player after evaporating under pressure this past weekend. No thank you, Nissan.

Last but not least, we've got the most infuriating commercials of them all: the Hulu ads. These piss us off for a million reasons, but when he actually calls out Browns fans saying, "Y'all said I need to spend less time filming commercials," after throwing a three yard duck (we have to give Hulu credit for the accuracy of his game-day performance), the blood is boiling and we feel the urgent need to throw remotes at TVs and cancel our Hulu accounts.

Thus, the all-important question arises...Should Baker finally consider pursuing his primary career full-time? Legendary QBs usually wait until they prove themselves on the field before spending some of their free time cutting ads. For example, Aaron Rodgers and Patrick Mahomes waited until they had at least made the playoffs before teaming up with Jake from State Farm. Now both have Super Bowl trophies and Super Bowl MVP awards. Baker, on the other hand, only has hundreds of thousands pissed off Clevelanders to show for his ads. Maybe it's time to go all-in.

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